Yes, China IS strong, and also great

July 23, 2009 at 8:08 am (China & Chinese Culture, Internet Humor) (, )

This was one of the funniest Onion articles I’ve seen in a while:

According to all sources, the People’s Republic of China is strong. The nation is united, the military unmatched, the economy vibrant, and the people ever joyful.

Similarly correct sources verified that China has always been triumphant.

In other news, the Chinese government is fair, all-knowing, and wise, propelled by the strength of two billion loyal hands, all pulling together as one under the Great Celestial Bureaucracy high above.

Experts all agreed that there can be no question of this claim, as this claim is the truth.

As of press time, the brute and inexpressive English language could not convey the full magnificence of China, nor its excellence in every arena, nor the protective warmth of the red sun that shines forever on its borders, nor the innumerable glories of its Great Leaders.

New reports also indicate that China will grow stronger yet.

The article ends with the Chinese character for fish (鱼), part of the Onion’s equally hilarious “takeover” by the Chinese company Yu Wan Mei: Amalgamated Fisheries and Polymer Injection Corp.  Their website is precious.

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2009 Predictions

January 2, 2009 at 11:56 am (China & Chinese Culture, Going to China/Life in China, Personal Life)

I don’t normally write about Tarot in this blog, but I thought I’d share: I pulled a Tarot card for 2009, which was the 8 of Wands/Staves.  An excerpt from my favorite Tarot website:

Before acting, we think, imagine, speculate, talk and dream. This is the realm of air – the sky. Then, finally, we decide to make our move. We bring our ideas down to earth and put them into action.

In readings, the Eight of Wands is often a sign that now is the time to declare yourself. All the elements are ready and will work for you as long as you don’t hesitate. The iron is hot – so strike! If events are in motion, they will proceed rapidly. You may feel caught in a whirlwind, but soon the dust will settle, and you see how your plans have fared.

I found this quite suitable, as I’ve been planning to go to China to teach English for a few years, and now suddenly it’s only a month away.

According to the Chinese lunar calendar, the new year hasn’t come yet: Chinese New Year is on January 26 this year, and will be the Year of the Ox.  For those interested, I found this Chinese astrology horoscope online, which goes over the Year of the Ox for the whole world and also for individual signs.  I’m a Tiger, so here are some of the notable excerpts for me:

The Good:

You will be very popular this year and might be able to use this time to participate in more people oriented activities to enjoy and reap the benefits. Greater authority or responsibilities will be given to you this year, and this will be an opportune time to prove yourself. …

The Bad:

However, do not get carried away as the challenges this year will be sudden and harsh. …

Be careful not to allow yourself to be duped. This year, males will have better luck than females. For females, your luck will improve if you work together with males or seek help from males. …

Your wealth luck will not be good. …

You might also be prone of being robbed this year so avoid flaunting your wealth unnecessarily. …

If you are attached, there will be a stronger possibility that you will move on to the next phase of your relationship such as getting married. …

You should not take all the wining, dining and friendly smiles at face value as some people will have ulterior motives.  …

Hrm, seems to be more bad than good, but from glancing at a few other signs, it seems that everyone’s in for a tough year.  Maybe that’s normal for Chinese astrology?  Their films and literature sure love tragedy, so why not astrology?

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Merry Christmas (to those who celebrate it)

December 25, 2008 at 4:58 pm (China & Chinese Culture, Personal Life) (, , , , , )

And to those who don’t, my best non-Christmas wishes to you too!

Though Christmas is not an “official” holiday in China, there are increasing amounts of participation and unofficial recognition of it, albeit in ways that do not necessarily resemble American Christmas traditions.  Here’s a video montage on Danwei of Christmas in Beijing.

Also, though I hope this won’t make me seem like a negative Nelly, among the lovely gifts I received was one that I did not particularly appreciate: a donation in my name to an evangelical Christian charity whose primary purpose is to spread Christianity to impoverished parts of the world.  Ugh. Maybe next time I come to B’s family’s Christmas celebrations, B and I should wear a T-shirt disclaimer: “We are not Christians.  We do not want to hear about Christ saving the world (because non-Christian earthlings do exist, thanks).  We do not want to go to church.  We do not support or look favorably upon any attempts at proselytizing, towards ourselves or any others.”

Or alternatively, maybe our charitable donations in their names should be to Planned Parenthood, Gay Marriage advocacy groups, and various neo-Pagan organizations.  Also Satan.

But of course, I say nothing and smile politely.  And try to put it aside quickly before my anger is too visable.  I am ever the pacifist.

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Chinese Movies — in China!

November 24, 2008 at 7:22 pm (China & Chinese Culture, Going to China/Life in China, Personal Life) (, , , )

While many (including a good friend) are in full-swing Oscar buzz mode, I’m eyeing a different set of movies: Chinese ones!

Now of course, I’m always up for a decent Chinese movie because movies are such great practice for learning languages, but generally I find myself left unsatisfied from most Chinese movies.  Oh, there are some excellent ones, and I don’t mean Zhang Yimou martial arts epics (think Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon — which is, unsurprisingly, an entire genre in China, and a large and popular one at that.  There’s Kekexili,

But now that I’ll be going to China, I don’t have to wait until some American DVD company decides to have a U.S. release of a movie, or more importantly for my current financial situation, for Netflix to decide it’s worthwhile adding to their collection.  Now I’ll get to go out and see Chinese movies, no subtitles, in real Chinese theaters as they release!  This may seem like small cookies to others, but I love going out to the movies in most ways except for the price — and even that problem is solved!  (I’ll be making the income of mid- to upper-middle class living by Chinese standards.)

Here are just a few of the movies coming out soon that Chinese audiences are looking forward to (the website is in English, with movie posters and trailers, some of which have English subtitles).

A quick update about me going to China: since I’m still waiting for my work permit and thus can’t yet order plane tickets and apply for a work visa yet, I’m not sure exactly when I’ll be leaving for China, but chances are pretty good that in two months I’ll have left the U.S.  Crazy!

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China hearts Obama

November 11, 2008 at 7:09 pm (China & Chinese Culture, Musings, News & Politics) (, , , )

I remember a while ago reading in Jenny Zhu’s blog that China wasn’t all that interested in American politics:

I’m asked asked how the Chinese see the US election. I’d say first of all, the general public gives it the same amount of attention (or slightly over) as the US public would to Chinese politics. While Obamama drew mega crowds in Europe, he would probably be able to enjoy a bit of privacy and travel incognito in China, so would McCain.

At first, I thought this was a bit strange.  I don’t think of myself as an America-centric person, but I also follow the BBC as my major news source, and found there was hardly a major story on U.S. politics I heard about elsewhere that I didn’t first read about on the BBC news website.  I also occasionally scan German news headlines, and found many of these same major stories made it to German headlines, so I guess I was working on the assumption that much of the world followed much of the American presidential elections.  It also made sense considering that since most countries have to deal with us (for better or, more often, worse), they might be interested in seeing what people will be driving our policies and attitudes, at the very least surrounding U.S. diplomatic relations and unofficial wars.

(As a side note, a possible reason for Europe’s focus on U.S. presidential is found in this PhD Comic, in which a European says to an American, “The U.S. is like our younger sibling.  They’re more exciting, yet we love to roll our eyes at them.”)

Recently, however, I’ve seen a lot of articles about a not-so-small population in China being quite excited about following the U.S. presidential election, at least towards the end: its youth, or more specifically, the young people that are learning English and interested in most things American.  (This is a “not-so-small” group of people considering that every undergraduate student in China must take English classes every semester.)  Obama has increased this interest significantly for many of the same reasons he’s popular among young people in the U.S.

I think it’ll be very interesting to be teaching in China during the first year and a half of his presidency.  I’m quite curious to see how much Chinese people follow it and, of course, what the Chinese popular opinion of him will be.

If you’re interested, here’s a page that translates into English comments left on a Youku (Chinese YouTube-type website) video of Obama’s victory speech.  (Interesting enough, the comments overall seem to be of a higher caliber than what I’d expect to find on YouTube, if only slightly.)

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